News
Reviews
Articles
Surveillance
Star Status: Andy Garcia
A recent screening of The Untouchables brought Andy Garcia into the sights of Star Status, and it's a mixed picture. He's actually been in a lot of TV stuff and a lot of stuff that I for one haven't seen - so quite a few of these scores will be coming from the over-generous IBDB voting system. No TV, so his appearance in the pilot of Murder She Wrote won't count I'm afraid.
So, how does Cuban-born Andy Garcia rate in the Chimpomatic Star Status Movie Maths Generator?
It's 10 points for a Hit, 5 for a Maybe and 1 for a Miss...
The Pink Panther 2 (2009) .... Vicenzo - MISS
City Island (2009) .... Vince Rizzo - HIT
La linea (2008) .... Javier Salazar - MISS
Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008) (voice) .... Delgado - MISS
Ocean's Thirteen (2007) .... Terry Benedict - HIT
The Air I Breathe (2007) .... Fingers - HIT
Smokin' Aces (2006) .... Stanley Locke - MAYBE
The Lost City (2005) .... Fico Fellove - MAYBE
Ocean's Twelve (2004) .... Terry Benedict - HIT
Modigliani (2004) .... Amedeo Modigliani - MAYBE
The Lazarus Child (2004) .... Jack Heywood - MISS
Twisted (2004/I) .... Mike Delmarco - MISS
Confidence (2003) .... Gunther Butan - MAYBE
Just Like Mona (2003) - MISS
Ocean's Eleven (2001) .... Terry Benedict - HIT
The Man from Elysian Fields (2001) .... Byron - MAYBE
The Unsaid (2001) .... Michael Hunter - MAYBE
Lakeboat (2000) .... Guigliani - MISS
Just the Ticket (1999/I) .... Gary Starke - MISS
Desperate Measures (1998) .... Frank Conner - MISS
Hoodlum (1997) .... Lucky Luciano - MISS
The Disappearance of Garcia Lorca (1996) .... Lorca - MAYBE
Night Falls on Manhattan (1996) .... Sean Casey - MAYBE
Steal Big Steal Little (1995) .... Ruben Partida Martinez/Robert Martin/Narrator - MISS
Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead (1995) .... Jimmy 'The Saint' Tosnia - HIT
When a Man Loves a Woman (1994) .... Michael Green - MAYBE
Jennifer Eight (1992) .... Sgt. John Berlin - HIT
Hero (1992/I) .... John Bubber - HIT
Dead Again (1991) .... Gray Baker - HIT
The Godfather: Part III (1990) .... Vincent Mancini - HIT
A Show of Force (1990) .... Luis Angel Mora - MISS
Internal Affairs (1990) .... Raymond Avilla - HIT
Black Rain (1989/I) .... Charlie - HIT
American Roulette (1988) .... Carlos Quintas - MISS
Stand and Deliver (1988) .... Dr. Ramirez (Educational Testing Service) - MAYBE
The Untouchables (1987) .... Agent George Stone / Giuseppe Petri - HIT
8 Million Ways to Die (1986) .... Angel Moldonado - MAYBE
HIT 11
MAYBE 11
MISS 13
So that's 178 out of a possible 370
Andy Garcia, you have scored a (perhaps surprising) 48.1%
If you dare make a purchase, you can do so here, allowing Chimpomatic to profit from his loss. Check back soon for more Star Status movie maths. Same Chimp Channel, same Chimp Time...
17th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Death By Twitter
Looks like Twitter is not all mindless. Time magazine are claiming it is responsible for the huge drop in box office from Friday > Saturday for hilarious new comedy Bruno.
17th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Cinemash: Sid & Nancy / Zooey & Joseph
500 Days Of Summer (the latest indie romcom by numbers) stars Zooey Deschanel and Joesph Gordon Levitt have a go at Sid & Nany
17th Jul 2009 - 1 comments - Add Comment - Tweet
Brett Ratner v Hong Kong Phooey
now Brett "X3" Ratner's going to remake Hong Kong Phooey... Is nothing sacred?!
16th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Search
Shoot 'Em Up
(dir. Michael Davis)
New Line
The clue is in the title here, in fact most of the script is even in the title. Lone gunman Clive Owen attempts to save a baby from a well-armed arms dealer, as a series of set-pieces run one after another - seemingly contrived around the simplest of premises. Scene 2: gun drops in toilet before hand dryer heats bullets just in time to shoot bad guy. Scene 14: bad guys interrupt Clive getting jiggy, so he keeps at it by multi-tasking. Monica Belluci also stars - dressed down as a lactating wet-nurse hooker. Don't ask.
The plot is thinner than a video game and the action even more pointless. Characters can be a crack shot one minute then run through a hail of bullets unscathed the next. With Paul Giametti hamming it up more than Groucho Marx, and Clive Owen doing little to overcome his one-dimensional reputation, the action is all that's left to sell this film and unfortunately that's not exactly deftly handled.
While John Woo or Xiang Zimou might use too much balletic slow motion, there's at least some thought behind it all - where as this is just a blurry mess. Like a Van Damme movie without 'plot' and Clive Owen in the driving seat, 'Michael' Owen could have done a better job saving this turkey.
Soundtracked like an installment of Guitar Hero, the likes of Wolfmother, Motorhead and Nirvana make up the never-ending stream of rock music (the baby loves it apparently), which attempts to smooth out the faux emotion and misogynistic, sexist, shocking, dull, cartoon violence.
15th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Read more 1.5 star reviews
Sacha Baron Cohen on Finding Terrorists
Letterman gets a non-Brüno interview
14th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Cinemash
Cheech & Chong do Tron? 500 Days of Summer vs Nancy & Sid? Cinemash tries them all.
14th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Hitchcock App
The forthcoming iPhone App Hitchcock sounds like it could be fun and even useful, allowing for easy storyboarding of your potential film projects.
13th Jul 2009 - 1 comments - Add Comment - Tweet
Promo Promo: Jonathan Glazer vs the Dead Weather
Promo legend Jonathan Glazer has been back in action, with a new promo for the Dead Weather's single Treat Me Like Your Mother.
More info at Creative Review.
13th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Flashy Handbag
Love this anti-paparazzi handbag, which has a slave flash inside and a glittering facade. Any pap flash guns cause the bag to instantly respond, ruining any potentially embarrassing photos.
13th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
My MAD mentor
Terry Gilliam explains the genius of Harvey Kurtzman, who as creator of MAD magazine, inspired a generation of satirists.
13th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Trailer Park: Art and Copy
Trailer up for Art & Copy, a new documentary about the advertising industry from Doug Pray.
#CSF
#AdNauseum
#Film
#TrailerPark
13th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Pimp My Sith Lord!
The Vader Project - because not every evil ruler of the galaxy has to wear black
13th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Trailer Park: District 9
Some lazy posting this week. Here's another trailer - for Neil Bloomkamp's V-esque sci-fi movie District 9, out this summer.
10th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Trailer Park: Funny People
'Dirty version' trailer up for Judd Apatow's new movie Funny People, about hit comedian Adam Sandler hiring Seth Rogan to write his jokes. Looks good - and could provide some redemption for Eric Bana.
You have to type your age into the teeny-tiny boxes to make it play.
9th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
2012: The Disastersploitation Remix
2012 remixed as a 70s disaster flick
9th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Promo Promo: Chairlift
Nicely shot promo up for the iPod-soundtrack-track Bruises, by Chairlift - which is getting a post-ad re-release.
Nice to see people still putting effort and money into promos.
6th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Jeff Goldblum: Not Dead
Jeff Goldblum spoofs exaggerated rumours of his own death ("Jeff Goldblum's performances combined the muscularity of Brando, the pathos of Streep, and the musky sensuality of a pride of baboons")
6th Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Michael Mann: Public Enemy No. 1
Michael Mann interview up at Aint It Cool. Not catching Public Enemies until next week, but looking forward to it.
3rd Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Out of this world movies
Indie moviemaker site Shooting People don't seem impressed by the contents of the video shelf on the International Space Station - which is disclosed here. Regarding classics such as Beverly Hills Cop (an easy 5 stars IMHO) as inferior, they are running a poll to select more suitable 'highbrow' titles to suggest.
3rd Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Promo Promo: Dirty Projectors
Nicely shot promo up for the new Dirty Projectors single - Stillness Is The Move.
Directed by Matthew Lessner, the video was shot on location out in Vermont and 'features siberian huskies and rare llamas'.
2nd Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Michael Caine Leaves Clue about the next Bat-villain
??? Who's it going to be?
1st Jul 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Last Day Dream: Life in 42 Seconds
Lovely short film up at Vimeo from promo/ad director Chris Milk. Submitted to the Beijing 42 Second Film Festival, it covers life flashing before someone's eyes.
30th Jun 2009 - 1 comments - Add Comment - Tweet
Trailer Park: The Time Traveller's Wife
Trailer up for The Time Traveller's Wife. Doesn't look likely to break the excellent Eric Bana's long run of turkeys.
26th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
New Jeff Buckley Song
These days, it only takes a sentimental Cameron Diaz movie to rustle up a new Jeff Buckley Song - We All Fall In Love Sometimes.
25th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Promo Promo: We Have Band
Nice promo up for hotly tipped/unsigned disco poppers We Have Band. Shot and animated entirely from stills - and if you so wish you can get the stills here and assemble your own version.
19th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Trailer Park: 2012
If you need someone to dump an aircraft carrier on the White House, via a tsunami - Roland Emmerich is your man. Looks like 2012 will be meeting my long-haul flight needs shortly.
19th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Trailer Park: New York's Got Talent
The relentless remake-a-thon continues, with Fame now getting a reboot.
19th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Year One
Harold Ramis
Totally tedious outing from the Apatow school of comedy. Hey, what if Jack Black and Michael Cera were like totally cavedudes? And what if they bumped into Cain and Abel? And what if they were like, totally played by David Cross and Paul Rudd? Would hilarious results ensue with total dudely charm?
You get the idea. In fact, it's all in the trailer. All the good gags (which seem a lot less funny when they're all the film really has) are in the trailer. See that. Avoid this with a prehistoric stick. Once we get to Sodom (hmm, wonder if they'll get any jokes out of that?) the whole thing descends into one of those pointless comedy chase/bust-up/big fights that really make no sense at all. There's an evil king who keeps sacrificing virgins! There's a camp evil high priest! There are fart jokes! Gay jokes! Cera ends up pissing on himself upside down!
It's a shame to see Black and Cera, two naturally talented performers with a good sense of comic timing reduced to the basest level of their (admittedly limited) ranges. Black's all wacky loser guy; Cera's a clever mumbler. It's not enough here.
Please don't make Year Two.
19th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Read more 1 star reviews
Trailer Park: Shutter Island, The Road
Looks like we're in for a grim thriller face-off: would you rather be stuck on Martin Scorsese's; Shutter Island with Leonardo DiCaprio, or heading out on The Road with Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron?
18th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Promo Promo: Jason Lytle
Nicely shot slow-mo promo from The General Assembly for Jason Lytle's track I Am Lost (And The Moment Cannot Last). Watch a hi-res version here.
17th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen
(dir. Michael Bay)
BANG! CRRRRRSH! NEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWW! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH! The Fallen has risen! Quick! Grab the All-Spark shard! Don't let the Decepticons get the hidden secret thing! I'm off to college mom and dad, damn they won't let me take my cool robot car or hot girlfriend Megan (she really is a) Fox! I just want a normal non-robot life. Uh-oh! They're back! The Autobots need me?! OK I'll save the world again if I must. Hope I don't rip another T-shirt. Maybe this hacker roommate I've just got will come in useful? CRRRRRSHHH! There they go again! OPTIMUS!!!! Nooooooooo! Quick! Call in the US MILITARY! Transformers are really, really, really old. And MEGATRON'S BACK!! Anyhow, let's BLOW STUFF UP! Run Megan (she really is a) Fox, RUN! Let's find that other dude from the first movie! JET ATTACK! OUTER SPACE!!! UNDERWATER!! Destiny! Call THE ARMY!! BOOOOOOOOOM!!! Let's go to EGYPT!! BLOW UP THE PYRAMIDS!!!!
Warning: comes with built-in headache. But does deliver on the promise of more robot battles and explosions. And shots of Megan Fox.
17th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Read more 2.5 star reviews
Mr. Woodcock
(dir. Craig Gillespie)
New Line Cinema
After an over-weight childhood of bullying and lack-lustre sporting achievement, John Farley (Seann William Scott) has made a name for himself as a self-help author - thanks to his best-seller about "Letting Go". On returning to his hometown to pick up an achievement award, he discovers to his horror that his widowed mother (Susan Sarandon) is dating the sadistic gym teacher (Billy Bob Thornton) responsible for much of his childhood horror. Much hilarity ensues.
Billy Bob Thornton continues to water down the comedy highs of Bad Santa and Bad News Bears with this pedestrian comedy. Unfortunately this seems like it's made up of out-takes from the already lame School For Scoundrels remake, with Thornton's bullying gym teacher Mr Woodcock sharing the unflinching nasty streak of Dr. P, with a script that shows none of the sympathy of Bad Santa.
Seann William Scott has never showed any promise beyond his cameo as the donkey wrangler in Old School - and his performance here does nothing to upgrade his status. Susan Sarandon, you should know better.
At 87 minutes you'd expect things to whizz by, but with a plot this thin it drags and drags before finishing ungracefully and being immediately erased from my memory.
16th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Read more 1.5 star reviews
Earth In Motion
If you thought yesterday's time lapse movies were good, then don't miss Wired's article featuring NASA sattelite time-lapse movies, that have taken literally years to shoot. Urbanisation of Dubai above, Amazon deforestation below.
#CSF
#Film
#Photography
#Space
#Tech
12th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Bike Club
The current craze for pimped-out, fixed gear bicycles seems to have re-invented cycling - and art students on bikes make a good combination. Check out these clips from LA's Taco Tuesday club and the Midnight Ridazz. And head on over to Rapha's Vimeo page for a ton of great stuff. Although they are using more gears.
Those dayglo wheels are all a bit Ocean Pacific if you ask me.
12th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Wot no hover-cars?
At the 1964 World's Fair in New York, a model city titled Futurama promised jet-packs, paperless offices and traffic-free highways. 40 years later and we're still waiting.
11th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Trailer Park: Shutter Island
Trailer up for Scorcese's latest picture - Shutter Island, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as usual, plus the excellent Mark Ruffalo. Based on the book by Dennis Lehane, who also wrote Mystic River and Gone Baby Gone.
11th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
The Plan Comes Together - Again
Looks like John Singleton and Bruce Willis are out, but Joe Carnahan and Liam Neeson may be in - for the ever cast/director rotating A-Team movie, which supposedly shoots in August for a 2010 release.
10th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Somerset House Summer Screen
Somerset House have put up this year's "hope it doesn't rain" selection:
UK Premiere of Pedro Almódovar's Broken Embraces Thu 30 July
Alien / Poltergeist - Fri 31 July
West Side Story - Sat 1 Aug
Slumdog Millionaire - Sun 2 Aug
The Shawshank Redemption - Mon 3 Aug
Wings of Desire - Tue 4 Aug
Don't Look Now - Wed 5 Aug
Strangers on a Train - Thu 6 Aug
Cool Hand Luke / Road House - Fri 7 Aug
Raiders of the Lost Ark - Sat 8 July
#chimp71
#Dateforyourdiary
#Film
10th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
I Can Read Movies
Loving this I Can Read Movies meme that's spreading around, great attention to detail
9th Jun 2009 - 1 comments - Add Comment - Tweet
Skate or die: This Is My Element
Monday 8th of June sees the release of veteran Anticon producer Odd Nosdam's new record T.I.M.E Soundtrack. T.I.M.E stands for This Is My Element - the title of the new Element Skateboards film - and Odd Nosdam composed each song to fit the skater it accompanies.
It's a rare thing indeed to have a whole skate film composed by one artist and Nosdam does a fine job. Featuring some heavyweights like Mike Vallely and Bam Margera, This Is My Element is beautifully shot and the soundtrack really raises some of the scenes to epic status. These two clips are from the young Nyjah Huston (above) and the legendary Chad Muska (below).
Chimpomatic review of T.I.M.E Soundtrack online here.
8th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
Tintin And The Release Date
Pastemagazine have got Tintin coming Nov 2011, plenty of time to get excited and over it all before it's out
8th Jun 2009 - Add Comment - Tweet
