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Bohemian Rhapsody
Mind numbingingly basic biopic, saved by the nostalgia for the music and moments.
5th Oct 2019
Read more 2 star reviewsJurassic World
Fallen Kingdom
A disjointed patchwork of homages, nods and rip offs from dozens of other movies, with little to offer of its own.
11th Mar 2019
Read more 2 star reviewsBlack Panther
Disappointingly unoriginal superhero movie, complete with dull CGI action.
27th Oct 2018
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Boy Downstairs
Like a long episode of Girls that’s all about one of the more boring characters.
16th Sep 2018
Read more 2 star reviewsHow It Ends
Great concept, but shoddily directed and utterly devoid of jeopardy.
17th Jul 2018
Read more 2 star reviewsGeostorm
Sub Roland Emmerich swill, with Gerard Butler saving the world from crazy weather.
13th Jul 2018
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Outsider
Brutally sincere, painfully thin yakuza flick. Jared Leto goes full Gaijin.
6th Jul 2018
Read more 2 star reviewsStar Wars
The Last Jedi
Every moment is undermined by a gag and the few serious scenes are sloppily handled.
13th Apr 2018
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Mummy
Blockbuster-by-numbers as Universal clumsily attempt to build a franchise.
24th Feb 2018
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Cloverfield Paradox
Some good ideas, buried by shambolic direction and storytelling.
20th Feb 2018
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Ones Below
Clunky Brit thriller that telegraphs every one of its sub-Hitchcockian twists, despite the decent premise.
3rd Jan 2018
Read more 2 star reviewsStar Wars
The Last Jedi
Shambolic sequel that squanders the promising set up from JJ, plus 40 years of anticipation.
21st Dec 2017
Read more 2 star reviewsAssassin’s Creed
Stylish, but utterly nonsensical drivel. Knowing anything about the game might vaguely help.
24th Nov 2017
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Girl on the Train
Bland, predictable potboiler that could have been written, directed and acted by a computer.
18th Nov 2017
Read more 2 star reviewsFinding Dory
Convoluted, charmless sequel. A rare misfire from Pixar.
17th Sep 2017
Read more 2 star reviewsOrdinary World
Billie Joe Armstrong plays a former star dealing with 40. Good concept, rendered as flat as possible.
16th Sep 2017
Read more 2 star reviewsWar Machine
Catastrophically miscast black comedy that fails at every turn. Big let down from star and director.
11th Jun 2017
Read more 2 star reviewsGhostbusters
Lazy, half-baked remake/reboot, totally lacking in charm.
17th May 2017
Read more 2 star reviewsDaddy's Home
Wafer thin parenting parable, barely coasting along on the charm of Ferrell and Wahlberg.
16th May 2017
Read more 2 star reviewsA Bigger Splash
Glacially paced, pretentious arthouse fluff, that fritters away a potentially interesting set up.
21st Jan 2017
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Hateful Eight
Tarantino zeros in on the most-tedious-film-ever award. Someone get the guy a new editor.
7th Jan 2017
Read more 2 star reviews13 Hours
Beard-heavy special ops bloodbath, with more than a passing nod to the equally impartial Black Hawk Down.
26th Oct 2016
Read more 2 star reviewsKeeping Rosy
Half baked British thriller. Some decent ideas, but it's all a bit studenty.
28th Aug 2016
Read more 2 star reviewsPan
Another disastrous Peter Pan reboot. Nonsensical gibberish, trying to capture some Baz Luhrmann weirdness.
18th Aug 2016
Read more 2 star reviewsEverest
Tension free wander up and down the mountain. Everybody plays it worthy, only Gyllenhaal vaguely impresses.
23rd Jul 2016
Read more 2 star reviewsLegend
Tom Hardy gives two 1-note performances in this dull, derivative Goodfellas wannabe.
9th Jun 2016
Read more 2 star reviewsSouthpaw
Cookie cutter boxing pic that can't decide if it's ripping off Rockie, Raging Bull or Million Dollar Baby.
8th May 2016
Read more 2 star reviewsTerminator Genisys
Could have been the BTTF2 of the series. Good concept, poor script, bad casting and appalling CGI.
5th Mar 2016
Read more 2 star reviewsAvengers Age of Ultron
Superhero clusterfuck. Cinematic, but overstuffed and riddled with dumb, cartoony CGI fluff.
31st Dec 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsAustin to Boston
Road-movie-concept music doc. Good on paper, but contrived, self-important and superficial.
2nd Dec 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsProject Almanac
MTV presents a Primer clone for the teenage generation. A found footage angle dilutes things further.
16th Oct 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsUnbroken
Self-important, tedious cookie cutter bio. Unfortunately, even Roger Deakins’ cinematography is forgettable.
14th Oct 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsA Most Wanted Man
Tension free Le Carre adaptation, with a star studded US cast pretending to be Euro.
1st Oct 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Guest
Underdeveloped thriller from a promising director. More Twilight than Terminator.
1st Oct 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Phantom Menace
The most disappointing sequel of all time has only got worse with age. Only Darth Maul redeems.
15th Aug 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Double
Sub-Gilliam Kafka-esque twoddle. It's all intentional, but just ends up looking like an 80s student film.
24th Jul 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsMad Max Fury Road
2 hours of utterly unmotivated nonsense, interspersed with OTT wacky races. But I was never a fan.
21st Jul 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Counsellor
Indecipherable monologues from Hollywood's A list, shot by a director with a dismal success ratio.
13th Jun 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsAloha
Emma Stone playing a half-Chinese/Hawaiian local is the least of this confusing Cameron Crowe washout's problems.
3rd Jun 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsFoxcatcher
Portentous wrestling pic. Nicely shot, with a raft of solid performances, but it's boring as hell.
5th May 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsBlackhat
Out of touch, contrived, misguided, miscast, dull disaster from Michael Mann. Reasonably well shot.
19th Apr 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsOpen Windows
Convoluted found footageish thriller. Channeling Rear Window, but too smartass, shapeless and pointless.
7th Feb 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsRobin Hood
Decidedly lacklustre effort from the doldrums of the 1970s Disney studio. With mis-guided Honky Tonk.
Halliwell says: Alarmingly poor cartoon feature with all the characters 'played' by animals; songs especially dim and treatment quite lifeless.
#JustWatched
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1st Jan 2015
Read more 2 star reviewsThe Interview
Witless comedy with none of the observation of Knocked Up, or the outrageousness of Team America.
28th Dec 2014
Read more 2 star reviewsCherry
Predictable indie drama. Following in the footsteps of 'Starlet', but with less style and originality.
23rd Dec 2014
Read more 2 star reviewsTriangle
Laborious time loop thriller with many similarities to the far superior Timecrimes.
18th Dec 2014
Read more 2 star reviewsPredestination
Clunky time-travel-paradox yarn that telegraphs its beats well ahead of time.
5th Dec 2014
Read more 2 star reviews