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Surveillance

The Switch

Tension-free Bateman rom com. Lacking rom and com.


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8th Aug 2020

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Bohemian Rhapsody

Mind numbingingly basic biopic, saved by the nostalgia for the music and moments.


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5th Oct 2019

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Jurassic World

Fallen Kingdom

A disjointed patchwork of homages, nods and rip offs from dozens of other movies, with little to offer of its own.


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11th Mar 2019

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Black Panther

Disappointingly unoriginal superhero movie, complete with dull CGI action.


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27th Oct 2018

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The Boy Downstairs

Like a long episode of Girls that’s all about one of the more boring characters.


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16th Sep 2018

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How It Ends

Great concept, but shoddily directed and utterly devoid of jeopardy.


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17th Jul 2018

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Geostorm

Sub Roland Emmerich swill, with Gerard Butler saving the world from crazy weather.


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13th Jul 2018

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The Outsider

Brutally sincere, painfully thin yakuza flick. Jared Leto goes full Gaijin.


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6th Jul 2018

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Star Wars

The Last Jedi

Every moment is undermined by a gag and the few serious scenes are sloppily handled.


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13th Apr 2018

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The Mummy

Blockbuster-by-numbers as Universal clumsily attempt to build a franchise.


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24th Feb 2018

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The Cloverfield Paradox

Some good ideas, buried by shambolic direction and storytelling.


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20th Feb 2018

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The Ones Below

Clunky Brit thriller that telegraphs every one of its sub-Hitchcockian twists, despite the decent premise.


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3rd Jan 2018

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Star Wars

The Last Jedi

Shambolic sequel that squanders the promising set up from JJ, plus 40 years of anticipation.


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21st Dec 2017

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Life

Lifeless sci-fi horror. Gravity meets Piranha.


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12th Dec 2017

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Assassin’s Creed

Stylish, but utterly nonsensical drivel. Knowing anything about the game might vaguely help.


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24th Nov 2017

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The Girl on the Train

Bland, predictable potboiler that could have been written, directed and acted by a computer.


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18th Nov 2017

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Finding Dory

Convoluted, charmless sequel. A rare misfire from Pixar.


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17th Sep 2017

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Ordinary World

Billie Joe Armstrong plays a former star dealing with 40. Good concept, rendered as flat as possible.


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16th Sep 2017

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War Machine

Catastrophically miscast black comedy that fails at every turn. Big let down from star and director.


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11th Jun 2017

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Ghostbusters

Lazy, half-baked remake/reboot, totally lacking in charm.


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17th May 2017

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Daddy's Home

Wafer thin parenting parable, barely coasting along on the charm of Ferrell and Wahlberg.


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16th May 2017

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A Bigger Splash

Glacially paced, pretentious arthouse fluff, that fritters away a potentially interesting set up.


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21st Jan 2017

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The Hateful Eight

Tarantino zeros in on the most-tedious-film-ever award. Someone get the guy a new editor.


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7th Jan 2017

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13 Hours

Beard-heavy special ops bloodbath, with more than a passing nod to the equally impartial Black Hawk Down.


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26th Oct 2016

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Keeping Rosy

Half baked British thriller. Some decent ideas, but it's all a bit studenty.


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28th Aug 2016

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Pan

Another disastrous Peter Pan reboot. Nonsensical gibberish, trying to capture some Baz Luhrmann weirdness.


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18th Aug 2016

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Everest

Tension free wander up and down the mountain. Everybody plays it worthy, only Gyllenhaal vaguely impresses.


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23rd Jul 2016

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Legend

Tom Hardy gives two 1-note performances in this dull, derivative Goodfellas wannabe.


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9th Jun 2016

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Southpaw

Cookie cutter boxing pic that can't decide if it's ripping off Rockie, Raging Bull or Million Dollar Baby.


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8th May 2016

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Terminator Genisys

Could have been the BTTF2 of the series. Good concept, poor script, bad casting and appalling CGI.


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5th Mar 2016

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Avengers Age of Ultron

Superhero clusterfuck. Cinematic, but overstuffed and riddled with dumb, cartoony CGI fluff.


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31st Dec 2015

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Austin to Boston

Road-movie-concept music doc. Good on paper, but contrived, self-important and superficial.


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2nd Dec 2015

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Project Almanac

MTV presents a Primer clone for the teenage generation. A found footage angle dilutes things further.


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16th Oct 2015

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Unbroken

Self-important, tedious cookie cutter bio. Unfortunately, even Roger Deakins’ cinematography is forgettable.


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14th Oct 2015

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A Most Wanted Man

Tension free Le Carre adaptation, with a star studded US cast pretending to be Euro.


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1st Oct 2015

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The Guest

Underdeveloped thriller from a promising director. More Twilight than Terminator.


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1st Oct 2015

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The Phantom Menace

The most disappointing sequel of all time has only got worse with age. Only Darth Maul redeems.


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15th Aug 2015

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The Double

Sub-Gilliam Kafka-esque twoddle. It's all intentional, but just ends up looking like an 80s student film.


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24th Jul 2015

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Mad Max Fury Road

2 hours of utterly unmotivated nonsense, interspersed with OTT wacky races. But I was never a fan.


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21st Jul 2015

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The Counsellor

Indecipherable monologues from Hollywood's A list, shot by a director with a dismal success ratio.


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13th Jun 2015

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Aloha

Emma Stone playing a half-Chinese/Hawaiian local is the least of this confusing Cameron Crowe washout's problems.


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3rd Jun 2015

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Foxcatcher

Portentous wrestling pic. Nicely shot, with a raft of solid performances, but it's boring as hell.


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5th May 2015

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Blackhat

Out of touch, contrived, misguided, miscast, dull disaster from Michael Mann. Reasonably well shot.


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19th Apr 2015

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Open Windows

Convoluted found footageish thriller. Channeling Rear Window, but too smartass, shapeless and pointless.


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7th Feb 2015

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Robin Hood

Decidedly lacklustre effort from the doldrums of the 1970s Disney studio. With mis-guided Honky Tonk.

Halliwell says: Alarmingly poor cartoon feature with all the characters 'played' by animals; songs especially dim and treatment quite lifeless.


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1st Jan 2015

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The Interview

Witless comedy with none of the observation of Knocked Up, or the outrageousness of Team America.


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28th Dec 2014

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Cherry

Predictable indie drama. Following in the footsteps of 'Starlet', but with less style and originality.


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23rd Dec 2014

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Triangle

Laborious time loop thriller with many similarities to the far superior Timecrimes.


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18th Dec 2014

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Predestination

Clunky time-travel-paradox yarn that telegraphs its beats well ahead of time.


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5th Dec 2014

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